SOFT SHELL (or, how to survive a mental breakdown) 🦀 an original song

I just realized I spent the day making this video instead of going to pick up my meds, to give you a real time update on how I'm doing 🙃💀

HI I'M KAIL

I've written a lot of sad songs, but right now I really needed to dance to something melodramatic & sarcastic to get me through

I started learning how to produce music in Logic Pro this summer after I had to close my business and quit my career of 6 years due to severe burnout and pending diagnoses. I truly do feel like a soft shell crab. I've been writing songs my whole life but I've never needed the creative outlet more than I do now. I really do feel my teenage self taking the reins and it seems she has a lot of unfinished business. I'm excited to see where we go next.

I wrote this song one night in my backyard so I thought it was only fitting to dance around (badly) in that same yard with the added obstacle of blowing snow. Closing the loop of extreme vulnerability by putting it all out there and letting go of it all.

Thanks for listening 🫶

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LYRICS:

Verse 1
Thought I’d built my armour
bulletproof, made of steel
Boarded up and lips sealed

Tried to get to know ya
Open up and really feel
All the parts I need to heal

Okay yeah, I’ll be honest
It’s lighter now without the weight
Laying down my shield
Is not a promise I can make

Pre Chorus 1
Chain mail made of glass
Paper carapace
Don’t think I’m gonna last

Chorus
*Soft shell, fresh hell
What a fucking bombshell
Someone ring the death knell
Oh well, can’t tell
Just how far down I fell
Trying not to raise hell
Soft shell

Verse 2
Delicately broken
Felt it all for too long
Trying hard to stand tall

With my heart wide open
Behind cloak & dagger still
Just in case I need to feel

Hollow exoskeleton
Hid all of the pain within
For true immunity
Oh, what I wouldn’t give

Pre Chorus 2
Burrowing, I’m teneral
If only ephemeral
Not doing well in general

Chorus
* Soft shell, fresh hell
What a fucking bombshell
Someone ring the death knell
Oh well, can’t tell
Just how far down I fell
Trying not to raise hell

Soft shell, fresh hell
What a fucking bombshell
Someone ring the death knell
Oh well, can’t tell
Just how far down I fell
Trying not to raise hell