ASMR Your Extremely Unprofessional Therapist 😈📋
You booked therapy…
but you didn’t check the credentials.
Welcome to your weekly session with your extremely unprofessional therapist — where boundaries are blurry, diagnoses are suspicious, and you might leave with more attachment issues than you came in with.
Tonight’s session includes:
soft whispers
paper sounds
pen clicking
breathing exercises
mild emotional exposure
and aggressive flirting disguised as “clinical observation.”
If you struggle with overthinking, texting first, falling too fast, or being softly bullied… you’re in the right office.
There is 285hz frequency music layered beneath the session to help promote grounding, emotional release, and subtle tension regulation while we unpack your “issues.”
This is not real therapy.
This is chaos with a clipboard.
Sign the consent form in the comments.
Sweet dreams… and don’t relapse into texting your ex.
weet dreams.🎧 Best experienced with headphones.
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