free to me (poetry video)

a recent poem of mine. hope you ❤️.

transcript:
I didn't know you at twenty two but you say that your shoulders were smaller and there was a young girl that loved you
I can't wrap my head around you I want you sweaty over me 
and my body’s too big now but my heart goes just as fast
as it did when I was the shy girl tracing your name on my belly unable to sleep 
I just wanted you to walk me home
now I don't stutter when I have to say my name anymore
at your new digs you showed me where to kick my shoes where I could sit
and stared at me as I trailed over my life and my mother’s
when I pull my knees in you look at me like whatever you've got is free to me now
I like the crunch of snow under my feet
even though I miss being your summer girl
I like smoke and sweat in cars
the rumble
my throat my lips my eyes bleak your hand the heat 
presses slows down our systems shorts the flow 
of talking we’re tapped out
I never sleep easier than I do going from one place to another
it's how my mom could calm me as a baby
I fall over in love like a ratchet shot
gleefully trashed
my friends don’t like men I’m the ditsy one
standing here like won't you see my soul through my summer cotton
everything was sparing to me
it’s the way it goes when you don't know where you are sometimes
and it’s the prettiest of days
all so pretty
you fluff the damp ringlets in my hair the rain do that wow
babydoll won't smile it's teetering wrong again
babydoll