Years before I got cheated on…

Instead of comforting and validating him… I said:

“Maybe she didn’t feel safe. Maybe she felt disconnected. Maybe she couldn’t talk to you”

I blamed him. Told him if he showed up better she wouldn’t have stepped out.

And he responded:
“I hope someone shows you more compassion if it ever happens to you.”
I laughed.
I said, “My husband would NEVER.” …🤦🏻‍♀️

But then it happened to me. While we were in (what I thought) was a solid marriage.
And everything I thought I knew about betrayal shattered.

I used to believe cheating only happened in broken marriages.
That if someone cheated, both people must’ve messed up.
That a disconnected wife, or a nagging partner, or a lack of intimacy somehow played a role.

And I realized what I should’ve known all along:
Cheating isn’t caused by disconnection.
It’s caused by a lack of integrity.
Some people will cheat no matter how good a relationship is and others will NEVER cheat no matter how bad it is.

It literally doesn’t matter how loyal, supportive, or loving you are
When someone wants to betray you,
they will.
And they’ll justify it however they want.

When someone chooses betrayal, that’s on them.
Not you.
Not ever.

I’m haunted by how I responded to him that day. It constantly replays in my mind.
Because now I understand how badly it hurts to be blamed for someone else’s choices.
So if somehow this ever reaches him…
I’m so sorry.
So deeply sorry.
You didn’t deserve that.
And you didn’t deserve what she did to you, either.

If you’ve ever been blamed for someone else’s betrayal
Please know:
It was never your fault.
Cheating isn’t about what you lacked.
It’s about what they lacked
Integrity. Self-control. Basic respect.

If you’re trying to heal from betrayal and you’ve been made to feel like it was your fault…
You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it out alone either.

Follow for healing and support 💕

https://gaml.io/selenahawkinss